JOANNA CAREW

Done the classic, pledged to write my blog, started with gusto and tailed off. Then – albeit it sporadically – I kept it going before fully falling off the waggon. 

So what went wrong? Clearly my diary time-blocking has also fallen by the wayside!!

Honestly? After all my blogging is candid, I’ve been struggling a bit of late. Not outwardly, I wear my smile and positive energy at all times, but more deeply, I have felt a bit lost and constricted, without the vibe or inspiration to write.

I don’t think we often allow ourselves to be a bit “meh”. I often fight hard to be on top form whatever the cost and this includes fooling myself that I’m good. Recently, I have been working around the clock, taking on multiple new challenges. Plus, I have been trying to conform with (perceived) societal expectations of having a fulfilled social life, which included going on numerous Tinder dates, as I negotiate the world of being single in a new county, and not really enjoying it.

Oh my goodness, I could’ve shot myself during some of the dates: drinks, lunches and walks, where I am half dead with bored politeness, probably knowing before even setting out that we’re simply not compatible. On reflection, I don’t even understand why I wasted my time!

I can feel my vibe is off writing, but I wanted to make an appearance. I’d love to report a bit of a wobble and now I’m spectacularly back on form … but no. I’m good, I’m ok. I’m just not fantastic.

It has been hard moving to Norfolk, commuting back North and spending many days living in hotels. I’ve lost my routines and social networks and am readjusting. For some reason I hadn’t thought about the negative sides of living and working 300 miles apart – the move was a bit of a knee jerk reaction to sh*t hitting the fan as my marriage collapsed!

So today, as Jo, or even Jojo; I’m laying it out as honestly as I can.  I’ll keep writing candidly over the next weeks, hoping to be more communicative than recently. Work really is so exciting, as I have amazing projects and opportunities to write about. Just need to lift my mood up to the same heights personally. I am heading to Vienna this week for a few days so the downtime will be awesome, I am such a culture geek and together with my gorgeous boy, Alfie, we’ll explore every inch of the city.

That’s my bank holiday news, don’t mean to be grumpy, maybe you can resonate? Sometimes life is ok, but not sunny on every side …