JOANNA CAREW

Learning about mindsets has been akin to being handed a key to unlock a door to my internal control centre. For over 3 decades it had been locked and I didn’t realise I even qualified for access to that part of my head!

If you have a FIXED mindset your door will also be locked, and to get the key you need to transfer to a GROWTH mindset … The great news is, it is possible to change and it is sooooo liberating!!!

Fixed vs growth mindsets

Fixed: you are born to have certain talents, natural abilities and intelligence. These attributes are innate and measurable. This means you’re likely to avoid things you don’t have any aptitude for, but you also come unstuck with your natural abilities. If someone is more talented than you, you’ll feel threatened, and you won’t risk pushing your talents in case you fail as that would threaten your whole identity and self worth.

Growth: you may have flair for certain things, but that is just a starting point. You can develop any talent or ability through hard work and determination. If someone does something better than you, you’ll lean in with curiosity to learn from what they’re doing, then double down on your efforts to adapt and achieve your own goals.

You can identify your mindset by being completely honest with yourself. Try answering the questions below:

1. Do you feel intelligence or talent are static?
2. Do you think working at something will change your ability?
3. Do you welcome feedback and criticism?
4. If something goes wrong do you feel wounded by the failure?

People with a fixed mindset will often answer: Yes, No, No, Yes, whereas, those with a growth mindset will have opposite responses.

Where does a mindset come from?

Unwittingly parents, teachers, and society tend to shoe horn us into a fixed mindset from very early childhood. Therefore, many of us live with fixed mindsets and we don’t realise how inhibited our lives are. As soon as we receive praise for X we start measuring ourselves on outcomes, totally forgetting about the input and enjoying the process.

There are so many examples from my life; here’s just one where I contributed to destroying my son’s love of cricket:

Alfie was about 10 and hooked on cricket. I was so chuffed and bought him all the gear and we’d go to the cricket field and mess about. Then he got selected for the school team and continued to have a blast. All of the time I celebrated Alfie’s wins, his talent, etc. 🏏

Then he went to secondary school and realised he was nowhere near as experienced as his peers. They were playing far beyond his level, and for Alfie it was terrifying. He stopped cricket instantly. He simply couldn’t bear to play and ‘fail’. All of the praise I had piled on Alfie was about his talent and suddenly he could see his skill was inferior to the competition. Thus the threat was too great for him to continue. He wouldn’t budge.

I had piled love onto my son with the best intentions, but all of the praise (from me and his teachers) celebrated his talent, as soon as this was threatened he felt overwhelmed and bailed as not being good enough. His love for cricket evaporated.

Switching to a growth mindset

I now see that if Alfie had a growth mindset his transition to secondary school could’ve been an opportunity to thrive playing a sport he loved, but he didn’t stand a chance. I’d instilled a fixed mindset into Alfie, and to boot I’d lived with one my whole life.

I stumbled onto learning about mindsets in February 2023 and it’s has been life changing. Suddenly, ‘failure’ is not terrifying, instead I equate it with learning, and it feeds my growing hunger for personal and professional development and reaching new goals.

If you’re interested in this, I’d recommend Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset. She has created an extremely accessible guide to transforming your mindset from fixed to growth. Dweck leads you through gently, building your understanding and skills without leaving you feeling unbalanced or confused. She also talks about parenting to develop growth mindsets in children – I wish I’d had this knowledge when raising Alfie!

Remember … your mindset affects every area of your life, so having a growth mindset will improve home and work life. It transforms the world to be a place of curiosity, experimentation, and learning. This in itself brings fun and joy.

Living in the old world of a fixed mindset was isolating, full of threat and misery. Honestly, when you get the key to your internal control room you’ll love it! You can build talents, skills, experience failure, experiment, it’s like a massive playroom you didn’t get access to before … ENJOY!!!!

Will you share your growth mindset experience with me? I’d love to know if you’ve transitioned, how you found it and any tips to catch yourself if you ever find yourself slipping back into the old fixed headspace.