JOANNA CAREW

Having suffered an extreme breakdown then rebuilt my life as a driven entrepreneur I’ve learnt a lot about managing my mental health. As part of Mental Health Awareness week I’m sharing some of my top tips with you!

#1 Walking in Nature

This is my #1 tip no matter what your situation is. Even on the worst days getting outside grounds me. Nowadays, if I’m really anxious I get up ridiculously early or wait until it is dark so I know I won’t meet anybody, because this is THE thing that can change my whole day.

Sometimes, I am too worked up to go without headphones, so I put music on and blast it into my ears. But even then I make the rest of my senses pay attention.

I’ll look closely at the plants, the earth and the sky. Take in the colours, feel the wind, rain, or sun on my skin. Take deep breaths and allow the smells to transport me. Right now bluebells and wild garlic take me back to my beloved Pops – it’s an instant time travel back to him 🥹🥰

#2 Dogs

I have never lived without a dog, and I have had my own dogs since the age of 7. They’ve always been a love for me and I currently have 3 – Maggie, Bridget and Felix. The dogs force me to walk in all weathers, so help fulfil tip #1. But they make me notice their world and their needs. Sometimes in poor mental health you can get wrapped up in your own misery. The pooches take me beyond that and I focus on them. Always happy, naughty, wanting to play, and they give the best cuddles.

#3 Diet

Simple right?! Nope! When we feel crap we eat crap, we drink crap (be it pop, caffeine, or alcohol), and we don’t take enough water. When I am on form I find eating well so easy because I love fresh healthy food. When I am low it is another story. I either restrict food and water, or binge eat junk food, plus I’ll booze when stressed. Doing this gives me extreme bloat and upsets my skin, it disrupts my sleep and routines. It is like knocking down the first couple of dominoes in a long line, and voila all my routines get knocked out just like that.

So, although I know the theory I haven’t mastered it! This is a work in progress for me! My current normal is to eat really well MOST of the time. Then on bad days, I will try and eat some good stuff (I keep simple to prepare healthy food in for these days), then add in the junk food as needed. I also try and have semi-bad junk; so a protein bar when I want to binge chocolate, or 0% gin when I want to drown my sorrows with G&Ts – I try to get the fix without really falling off the waggon. Crucially, if I do have a crappy day, I don’t beat myself up (like I used to), and just start over!

#4 Gratitude

This is so underrated! I felt like a lunatic when I started practising gratitude, but give it a week and you will be A-MAZED! Feeling grateful gives you a rush and calms and lifts your mood. Every day at multiple points I’ll think about my situation, or the things I encounter. It takes a second or two, and suddenly I see good in a person, a situation, or my circumstances.

For example, imagine I am stressed to death with my workload, I’ll pause … and realise I am so lucky to have the freedom to be at home with my pooches working on the projects I have created … I mean WOW!!! Yes, there is a lot to juggle, but I am so lucky! … It is an instant mood-changer!

#5 Relationships

You need to create an inner circle! I have my siblings (sister, brother, and 2 in laws), my son, and my friend. We have worked on our relationships so we are all allowed to be candid with one another without judgment. This is REVOLUTIONARY for me … before I either avoided people, or pleased people. Nah ah!

It felt terrifying to risk being vulnerable (honest) with my loved ones. Yet, within this inner circle we have created boundaries, and that builds trust. So now, when I need to reach out (or they do) the trust between us already means that we can do so without any bullsh*t. This year I have been in pieces many times over the break up of my marriage, and every time I have sent a text to my sister saying HELP! She then contacts me and we work through it together.

Our chat always feeds back to Mario Kart and the obstacles on the track! Sometimes it’s mental, other times more manageable. Without these relationships I would not have survived these past months … it takes a leap of faith to build honesty, but it IS worth it.

#6 Therapy

Petra and I have worked together for 8 years now, and I would wholeheartedly recommend psycho-therapy for mental wellbeing. My personal circumstances involve complex trauma from a very young age so there are many difficulties that I wouldn’t have managed alone. It all depends on your personal situation, so if you have access to a decent therapist, or have a really difficult situation, I would absolutely go for it.

Therapy is uncomfortable and terrifying … but it’s been a life-changer for me!

#7 The Present

This is basic but THE BEST ADVICE! I slip into ruminating on the past, or worrying about the present all of the time. I forget to live right now!

Living in the present will revolutionise your life. Sit and honestly think how often you do this. Solve for Happy by Mo Gawdat will help you. In his book he brings you to the present. When you are in the moment, you are not in pain from past or future, you just are … living in the moment. Spending time in the present is a luxury for me and I am still getting used to it.

#8 Stop Oversharing!

This is not good for mental wellbeing. I can find myself over explaining, or oversharing, or simply talking too much. It is pure anxiety and low self-esteem! I feel I have to explain and justify the whole picture … no I don’t!

After doing this, I’ll then sit and metaphorically bang my head against the wall. “OMG what will they think about X?”, “Why did I disclose that” … etc etc. By zooming out and setting boundaries I stop doing this and it removes the worry. It’s a basic tip but really helped me.

#9 Happy List

This is linked to #7 being in the present. Every time I go off into the past ruminating about something it brings me down. Full disclosure, this is normally about my ex as I try to heal and stop loving him … however, now I know that distracting myself with a happy thought will INSTANTLY make me feel better and stop all thoughts about him!

Mo Gawdat tells his readers to compile a happy list. This information is pure GOLD! I think about an item on my list, and I am brought back from the rabbit hole I’m about to go down. There are so many items on my list. My pooches, a glass of sparkling water, my skincare routine, a sunset, wrapping myself in a blankie, sitting in front of the fire … so many options.

You either think about an item, or make one happen. Using your happy list will break the cycle of sadness and you’ll keep away from the negative rumination that eats your energy.

#10 Journalling

I love words and allow myself to write candidly in my journals. I rarely re-read what I write, just allow my thoughts to explode onto the page in the moment. So, for me journalling is an outlet to structure thoughts, and a test space for ideas. I write daily, checking in with my parts (see blog post #9) and to check I am being self-led.

This is my list, your tips might look rather different! Let me know what your top 10 looks like!