JOANNA CAREW

Who am I? This depends on who you ask … so I asked! And this is what they said:

• Son: firm but fair, reliable, honest, smart and loving.
• Work team: approachable, confident, and a driven boss lady.
• Friends: better than family, a bestie, a bit socially awkward.
• Siblings: smart, savvy, kind, determined, and occasionally a pain in the neck!
• Ex-husband: determined, hard working, intelligent and good looking.
• Me: I’m still finding out … definitely a deep-rooted sense of fairness and integrity, major insecurities about my appearance and like-ability, doggedly determined yet playful and curious.

What would the descriptions of you look like?

Can you believe I even struggle with my own name!!!

I wear “Joanna” as armour – she is the confident, glamorous businesswoman that buzzes with energy, speaks effortlessly to a crowded room, and intoxicates others with her passion and enthusiasm.

Then there’s Jo, the friend, who’s pretty quiet, awkward in group situations, but kind, caring and pragmatic. I’ve got a very small friendship group and enjoy interacting in limited doses. Jo doesn’t enjoy large social gatherings with strangers, they bring a heaviness where I feel like I am boring, unattractive, and uninteresting. It’s uncomfortable admitting to this but I have promised complete honesty, and I am starting to unpick why my Jo is so inhibited.

Finally there’s Jojo, she’s the inner one and I am learning how to love her. She’s a sweetheart and the link between all of the personalities and the traumas behind them. She’s loving, mischievous, curious, vulnerable, emotional and fierce. Just misguidedly self-critical in an attempt to drive herself forward and avoid failure and rejection. 

Is it any wonder that life feels so turbulent when we’re such complex beings?!

Over these blogs you’ll encounter Joanna, Jo and Jojo, and I hope you’ll join me on my journey as I embrace self-compassion and learn how to understand my personalities and develop into a more rounded version of me.